How to get over social anxiety?

[Aldentron]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

more important than how to get over social anxiety:

[Wayward Vagabond]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Just as good a video now as when I first saw it

[smartdude1212]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I feel roughly the same way, though there's a distinct difference between the person I was in grade 11 and the person I am now. The summer break leading into grade 12 was easily the most personally freeing of my entire life -- in both positive and negative ways, unfortunately -- but it still opened my eyes to the idea that I do not have to give as much of a **** as I once thought I did.

I used to be of the opinion that not giving a **** straight up transformed you into an asshole. Instead, it's better to balance not giving a **** with giving a partial ****, particularly with things that you most enjoy. After doing that, I became noticeably happier with my own life (and like to think that it reflected to those around me, though with my horrendously biting sense of sarcasm I probably just continue to piss people off more than I realize).

I still have issues with talking to people though. Conversations can get boring to me incredibly fast, and I'm not one to discuss banal topics. I'm also a horrible conversation starter unless it's something about which I am very passionate, very knowledgeable, or very curious. There are very few people in my life who I can hold lengthy conversations with, but they are certainly the ones I have come to respect the most.

I do like eavesdropping on conversations though. It's thrilling to hear people constantly say things like "yeah" and "uh huh" when listening, or for the speaker to say "you know?" or "right?" every so often. I don't understand what it adds to the conversation other than to verify that you are indeed paying attention, or to elicit such a verification from someone. Why is this thrilling? Because I feel like I haven't fallen into such a cycle, and I can personally vindicate my own egotistical existence. Next time you listen to someone speak, count how many times they say "you know?" or "right?" or what-have-you. If you point it out, it's almost embarrassing. I digress...

So yeah, other than being an asshole like that, I'm still proud of you for voicing your fears. That's some tough shit.

[Xx{Midnight}xX]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Honestly I just stopped giving a **** what anyone thought about what I was in real life and it made my life a lot better.

Kinda how I go about it till you lump me into a large group of unknown people or a girl who I deem interesting, then I still kinda shut down.

Social norms are actually really headache inducing when you think about them to much.

[TheThong]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Honestly I just stopped giving a **** what anyone thought about what I was in real life and it made my life a lot better.

Pretty much this.

I used to care too much about what other people thought of me and it'd cause me to feel more anxious when I was out and about - so in short, be yourself. Do whatever makes you happy/silly/sad/angry/whatever and try not care about what someone else will think of it. It took me awhile to get into this mindset, but it really does help. (Not sure if it will help you, but it wouldn't hurt to try!)

[wargasm1]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

keep talking to lots of people, working in public helps.

[kommisar]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Just be nice and chill with People without being someone you're not. The more you think about their perception of you, the more likely you are to act on anxiety.

[Wayward Vagabond]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Like I said take tons of drugs

[SC_coolguy44]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I feel the same way wondering if people even want me around them, especially because I have been rejected by my own 'friends' before. I'm not good at starting conversations and also have lots of trouble meeting strangers IRL. Just like A2P, this is something major I have struggled with my whole life.

[Abstract Art]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

I know the exact feeling you're referring to, A2P. To be honest, it hasn't always been a thing that's bothered me, either. I noticed that the feeling you're describing became more prominent and apparent when most of my REALLY, REALLY close friends started to go their separate ways in life (ie. some dropped out of high school, some moved away, some went to different universities etc.). I think the feeling you're describing is a general insecurity about constantly being compelled to get people to like you.


The best thing I can suggest is that you just develop really close relationships with a select few people that you've known for a really long time, generally when you have a solid base foundation of buddies that you're absolutely comfortable being with, most of your insecurities just go away. But, when you don't have that solid foundation of a good support network of friends, then you begin trying to seek approval from literally everyone you come into contact with - including random people you've never even spoke to. It does become a nightmare, but just know you're not alone.

Just be nice and chill with People without being someone you're not. The more you think about their perception of you, the more likely you are to act on anxiety.

Definitely this.





Edit: I'm also from Chicago, lol.

[welsh_girl]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Know that feel bro. It's why I'm a social hermit and have no friends.

[i heart candy]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

Be yourself and stop being a poo c.

[i will pwn u]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

As a couple people already have said , the biggest thing that has helped me get over my anxieties was realizing people come and go in life as you grow and only put effort into caring what the important people think. Idgaf what anyone really thinks of me at this point in life and it has helped me a lot.. be yourself and be happy and don't care . It makes life a little easier imo.

[Cavernio]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

The people who will judge you negatively based on everyday things you may say or do aren't the people that you're going to want to socialize with anyways.
I think you need to remind yourself that you have absolutely no idea what most people think about you most of the time, and so not only is it detrimental to your ego to think about how they might not like you, whatever you're thinking is also probably wrong. Again though, those couple of times when you find out that you are right, that that person thinks poorly of you, they don't matter to you anymore. They're mean, ignorant, stupid and judgemental. And it's not just 'not letting them get to you', because that implies a struggle and you overcome something. The struggle shouldn't exist in the first place.
Which is pretty much what everyone else has been saying; don't give a shit.
I suppose it's different if, say, the person who thinks poorly of you is your mom or a really good friend, and maybe at those times you should take a step back and wonder what you did wrong before brushing them off. But I don't think you were talking about socializing in those regards.

[Wayward Vagabond]

Re: How to get over social anxiety?

seriously drugs will make you so social