Just what they are called, 'random thoughts'
Posted on: March 7, 2011, at 11:20:57pm

I felt kind of cliche having the video up here on top for so long so I decided to type some random speculation. I am kind of in one of those moods, the quiet content yet annalytical kind of mood. If thats a full description of how I am currently feeling, haha I know its not. But any way, to develope some sort of purpose for this post...
So spring break starts after this week, and despite my school hardly ever having a full week I can not wait. I have decent grades but it feels like the teachers love to pile up assignments in the last week of school. For instance, right now I am procrastinating writing a paper for economics, procrastinating on a 300 point project for biology, procrastinating on studying for my geometry test tomorrow, procrastinating on sleeping, and just procrastinating on a whole lot. Yet I am too relaxed and content to care. Haha I feel kind of sorry for people who can't seem to take a step back from life for a moment to enjoy this kind of feeling (if that is how you would like to describe it). So what has been going on in everyone elses life as of late? I know probably no one will comment on this but non the less I like to ask. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but that just means it had 8 more lives to spare. I wonder where anyone came up with that, 'cats have 9 lives'. The word initiative has 4 is in it, is it weird that this bothers me?
I am currently listening to Sleeping With Sirens - Let Love Bleed Red (acoustic). To be honest I am not sure if its the real title of the song, I think I have seen it as other things, but oh well. Tomorrow I have my first soccer game of the season, I am not really excited, I hope I will be tomorrow. Yet not too excited, because then I get stomach aches.
I think I am a little bit lonely right now. It is kind of funny, like, I have a boyfriend now, but I can only see him on the weekends, and I havent seen him for the past two weeks (even though we only just started going out). I have never dated, (like legitimately dated) anyone before, so I am not entirley sure how it works yet. For instance, the next time that I see him, am I supposed to hug him? Kiss him? should I hold his hand if we walk together? I am unsure about a lot of this. And I dont even know if I will be that into the relationship. I am kind of silly in a sense that I dont really beleive in love. I dont really want to sound like a downer, or cliche or anything(even though I am cliche) but, I just, I dont. I do not necessarilt have a reason to not believe in love, I guess I just think it is kind of a superficial concept. I dont know. But at the same time of not believing in love, I would really like a person to share my life with. I am not really interested in the concept of getting married and having children (perhaps that is because I am only 15). I think I would rather try to find a person that I really like (both physically and emotionally) and see if they would be down with just being together for a while, or the rest of our lives, or I dont even know how long. I dont think I have fears of commitment, I think I just like the idea of the two of us not having to be kept by the same... I dont know, 'rules' (if you will) as other people. Like that is the thing, everyone finds the person they like, they get married, they get a house, they have kids. I sometimes think that having kids would be cool, but at the same time I dont think I could do it. Haha, and as for the whole marriage thing, perhaps it is also that I am seeing so many of my friends parents splitting up that I see little hope in the concept. Plus then there is the whole god thing. I dont even want to get into that.
-Time to go on a completely different subject now- Ugh the fan thing that I have for my laptop keeps not workin, which is bad because then my laptop overheats and turns off. It bothers me. I haave decided that I want a jello cake for my birthday this year. Like not even a cake with some jello, I want a full on solid cake of jello. and it is going to be awsome. Alrighty I think Im done testing how much you can type in these things, good night all. :)

1. 1: Silver Sky
   Posted at 8:50am on March 8th, 2011

   I would say you have a unique way of expressing yourself. I could reply but it would probably be super long. =P I will start off with just one subject for now. That is love. It's good to think about waiting you know since your only 15 for marriage. A lot can happen in that time for our minds changing over and all as we mature. With your relationship I would take it as slow as possible. See when you kiss a person for instance you get that love feeling if you really care about them. That feeling stays with you and that person. Now think about this. You just drop the relationship like that. Now what happens with the love you showed toward each other. It wouldn't be a good feeling to be in to a relationship giving it your all and then bam it's over.(Yes this is from experience). And consider you will believe me will find that person you will actually love. You will want to spend the rest of your life with him. He will in a sense sweep you off your feet. Unfortunately that's how it work
2. 2: Silver Sky
   Posted at 8:52am on March 8th, 2011

   s. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully it all works for ya anyways, =)
3. 3: xxXVampChikXxx
   Posted at 9:32pm on March 9th, 2011

   Well thank you! I am super surprised that you read any of that 'random thought' that I typed. Haha, well yeah I am not too worried aobut this relationship, I figure its my first and I will just kind of go with the flow. The only thing that I dont really know what Im going to do about yet, is whether or not I am going to actually let myself get into this relationship or not, I kind of always had this mentality of love is not for me(blah, once again, cliche, haha). But if you have anything more that you want to say, please do, I dont mind long comments at all!