What Job Offers Really Mean
Posted on: July 31, 2008, at 11:28:33pm

Hey all, I know most of the people here are teens, but it's still good to know stuff like this ahead of time when you want that "real job" of sorts. So let's take a look at one I got:

PHP/LAMP developer
Las Vegas / NV
6 Months

"Senior PHP Web Developer to fill an immediate opening."

It's in Vegas, dude probably got shot so they need someone now.

"You will be individually"

Flag, this means you're pretty much f-ed and you're on your own.

"responsible for both front-end and back-end development of Object-Oriented LAMP-based websites/applications for high-end clientele"

high-end clientele eh... the last guy might have also been frustrated with the needs of said "high-end clientele"

"which incorporate designs from our creative team and apply Web 2.0 techniques."

Welcome to JavaScript hell, enjoy the ride.

"Work includes scope definition, writing documentation, drafting wireframes, fielding technical questions from clients,"

You're a programmer that has to talk with the client. This is kind of a crappy position to be in. You get to be the one to tell clients that the timeline is 5 times longer than they think.

"engineering solutions to meet specific milestones and deadlines"

We're going to work your ass off

"programming of web applications and associated database queries."

You have to fix our database too.

"To be consider the Senior PHP Web Developer must possess intermediate to advanced experience in: PHP, XHTML, CSS, JavaScript, MySQL, Ajax, MVC Frameworks, OOdesign and development. "

You need to do everything. BTW, the pay is shitty.