Q: What did the doe do on her day off?
A: Went down to the Elks Club to blow a few bucks.

Poop and pee.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boobies!

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Ther was this couple taht sat by an lake.
They were about to have some rageing love; until an alien ship cam down from the heavens.
An male and female alein cam out asking to mate with them.
" If not we will kill you." they said.
Haveing no other choice the man left wioth the female and the women stayed behind.
The male alein whiped out his phallus,. While the human women laughed at the size he asked. " What seems to be the problem?" She simply smriked. " It's really small." SHe exclaimed afterwards. The alien laughing told her to pull his ear. Doing so it grew ten inches longer, and she was satisfied.
After they were done the aleins left and the man and women reunited. The man asking the women " How was it?" "The best!" She said with glee." How was it?" She asked him in return." I dont know really, she kept pulling my ear. So I could'nt focus."

This is a story about a man named Chaz. He'a a goddamn idiot and suffers from foot-in-mouth disease, and AIDS. One day Chaz went into a public chat and met raVegIrL. She is a picture of beauty and intelligence and is generally a much better person than Chaz, plus she doesn't have AIDS. Chaz, as is his unfortunate way, said something stupid in the chat and upset raVegIrL. So first she gave him a swift punch to the throat. Then Rebirth came in and added a quick cattle prod to the spinal cord. Then Synth came in, banned him from FFR forever, hacked his computer, stole his identity, emptied his bank accounts and generally sodomized him, metaphorically and literally. Everyone lived happily ever after.

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees

CONTINUED
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."

Chris. Your story didn't finish. Oh well I'll finish it.
At first, Rebirth was like "OMFG SPLOOGE CRUST" but then he looked at it again and it was a frosted flake. WTF! x.x

i will try any way just for the hell of it one day a father is talking to his son and says u know son if u dont stop masturbating ull go blind... in response to his father his son says hey dad i am over here stop talking to the lamp shade

ima sofa king we ta dead <3

Q: What did the vampire teacher say to the female student?
A: See you next period...
Yes it's dirty. But somewhat funny too.

Hey, would you like to come over to my place one night and join my circus? Cause girl, you bring out the clown in me. ;]
Sorry lame. lol
And heck, I don't even know you. Why am I here?

Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Question: Why does ducks don't like to fly?
Answer: Because they would quack up. xD

hmmmmm i cant understand how u can get those credit well bye

why did teh chicken cross the road
because he wanted to have sex with the hooker o the other side =/

what do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A lickalotapuss
=P

Me: Knock Knock.
You: Who's There?
Me: Banana.
You: Banana Who?
...
Me: Knock Knock...
You: Who's There?
Me: Banana.
You: Banana Who?
...
Me: Knock Knock.
You: Who's There?
Me: Orange.
You: Orange Who?
Me: Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana?

nakanakanakanakanakanaka

mexican word of the day, Bishop
"mi hermosa fell down de stairs and i ahv to go pick dat bishop